I feel like I've been getting worse. I talked to my fiance about going back into therapy or on meds again. He thinks I don't need any of that. He thinks I just need time and to be cuddled. Too bad he lives over 130 miles away... I've also been thinking about going back to the psych ward... The only thing really keeping me from going is I know how expensive it is even with insurance... I know we can't afford it and I don't want to have to put people through that again. Besides, I didn't have that great of an experience last time I was there. I don't know how much longer I can handle this on my own though. I mean, I know I have other people I can lean on but I can't depend on them forever. Much less until I can climb out of this hole I'm trapped in. I do think that this blog is helping me even if it's only a little bit.
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