I still haven't decided what I want to do about everything. I was on omegle.com last night and talking to people who had their interest as suicide. A lot of them were planning on trying last night. By the end of our conversations, they seemed to want to live at least a little bit but I ended up feeling even worse. I just don't know what to do. Whenever I help other people I end up feeling worse. My fiance called last night and asked if I was okay and I lied to him. I kept telling him I was fine and he should stop worrying so much. He listened to me and hung up after a minute or two. I feel bad for lying, but he was already stressed out....
I don't know if anyone I know is actually reading this, but if you are someone I know I'm sorry. I allow my mind to run wild as long as my fingers can keep up. Through this blog, I have come out about how truly depressed I am and how much I really want to die. I just... I am so sorry... Not only to the people I know, but the ones I don't who end up reading this. I worry that some day I won't be able to stop myself from ending it all. If that happens, I'm sorry for hurting you guys. I really do care about all of you, but I don't know how much longer I can handle this anymore.
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