24th July 2014, 8.03pm

A dear friend of mine has decided to go into a mental health facility. He has yet to tell any other friend or his family. I worry about him doing this as I am not familiar with the rules for adult wards. I’m proud of him for being able to admit he needs help and even prouder that he is taking the initiative to go in by himself and become a patient.

23 July 2014, 7.35am

Last night was really bad... I tried to kill myself.... I tried overdosing, but I ended up puking everything up around 3am....I wish I would just die already....

20th July 2014, 7.56pm

I don't know if I want to recover from this anymore. I just want to hurt ALL the time.... It doesn't matter what sort of day I'm having... I've already relapsed so why stop again? I'm obviously not strong enough to do this....

18 July 2014, 5.48pm

I cut two nights ago. I hate myself for it, but I do feel better because of it. I picked up a pack of cigarettes last night. I had two yesterday. I broke two of my rules about smoking last night. 1) Don't smoke more than one a day and 2) don't smoke in front of kids.

9th July 2014, 10.07am

It has been 5 days since my friend ran away from home. The last time anyone has heard from her was the 6th. From what I understand, she is headed to Anchorage, Alaska.

In other news, I now weigh only 184lbs! I'm also almost 5 months without cutting.

6th July 2014, 11.15pm

I'm sorry I haven't been writing much lately. A lot of things from my past have been coming up and causing incredible amounts of stress in my life. I just don't really know what to do. I don't even think I care whether or not I can stay on this path to recovery. It's so much work faking this damned smile all the time. I hate it. I don't want to pretend anymore. I just want someone to care for even just a minute or two.... It'd be so nice....