Tuesday, February 2, 2016

2nd February 2016, 1.12am

I'm not really doing okay right now. It started out as me just being mellow, but it slowly progressed into me wanting to end my life. I hate how I can't seem to have a good day sometimes, but then I think about it and realize I do have good days a lot. The depression hides the good memories from me in order to make me cynical and pessimistic. I just need to remember to keep my chin up and lean on someone when I need it.

In other news, as of yesterday I am 13 weeks without cutting. It'll be 100 days on the 10th of this month. I don't know how to feel about that yet. Like, it's good that I'm making progress but I'm terrified of relapsing and having no motivation to try again... I'm not sure how to feel about a lot of things lately...

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