18th May 2016, 9.21am

I'm actually starting to feel lost without a significant other. I've never been this long without someone to call my own. It's so weird. I like being single but at the same time it's pretty lonely. Friday will mark 200 days without cutting. I can't believe I've actually made it this long. I'm really proud of myself actually.

14th May 2016, 7.16pm

I cried yesterday. A lot. More Than I would like to admit. Most of it was stress mixed with feeling inadequate because of not having a boyfriend.

8th May 2016, 5.27pm

Yooooooo I'm 20 now. And it's Mother's Day. Cool.

7th May 2016, 11.10pm

I met Ben's alpha twin last night. She pretty much hated me immediately and made me feel extremely uncomfortable... otherwisr, I had a wonderful time at Dr. Schuler's retirement party.

6th May 2016, 11.38am

Today is the last day of classes for the semester. I have 5 finals next week. Two on monday, one on Tuesday l, and two on Wednesday. I leave for home Wednesday night. I've been crying a lot. The theatre has 20 seniors graduating between today and tomorrow.

3rd May 2016, 8.22pm

Today marks 6 months... and I want to throw it all away... I was actually having a really good day, too... I was productive, classes went well, I even got to see the musical I worked on finally... and then it all came crashing down... it always does... and once again I learn that I'm the annoying friend that people just put up with.... I need a cigarette...

2nd May 2016, 11.21pm

It's finally starting to really hit me that Ben is graduating on Saturday... I've know it was coming all year long but... I didn't think it would come up so fast... he was the first actual friend I made at college and he's been there for me through a lot. He always knows how to put a smile on my face and cheer me up even on my darkest days. We hang out almost every day and I just don't know what I'm going to do next year without him....