8th April 2016, 1.17am

The more I think about it, the happier I am that Zach left me. I've become happier and more confident than ever before. I'm starting to love myself and it's really fantastic. I don't think I would have been able to go as long as I have been without cutting if he and I were still together (I'm at 159 days!). I'm so much happier with where my life is headed, too.

7th April 2016, 1.03am

I really hate that u can think myself into a bad mood. I wish I could stop these thoughts but I just can't... I have no forms of stress relief currently... still drudging through recovery with the cutting and I can't smoke while I'm so sick.... I keep thinking one cut wouldn't hurt.... and maybe I'm right.... it'd make me feel better...

5th April 2016, 7.20am

My roommate has been getting on my nerves lately. She keeps getting on my case about things I can't control. For instance, she literally woke me up at 2am to tell me to turn onto my side because I was snoring. I'm sick. No matter what way I am laying, I am going to fucking snore. She keeps plugging my fish tank back in as well. I don't have a fish. He died. I keep trying to unplug it so that I can begin to clean it, but she always plugs it back in! She also keeps unplugging the fridge and then forgetting to plug it back in. I have had to throw away a lot of food because of it. It's just getting more and more ridiculous. I'm glad I won't be rooming with her next year.

In other words, tonight is the very last rehearsal for The Drowsy Chaperone. We open tomorrow and I'm so ready for this musical to be over.

4th April 2016, 10.21am

So, I currently have little to no voice. I'm just trying to stay away from all of the actors. We can't afford for any of them to get sick. We open on Wednesday. I can't believe we are almost done with this show.

3rd April 2016, 3.33am

Ben just really disappointed me... he is a dominate and decided to show off to some mutal friends tonight. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but he was tying up a girl that was drinking. She wasn't drunk, but she definitely was not sober. He broke one of his number one rules because he wanted to show off... I made it very clear I was disappointed and I feel bad for making him feel bad, but.... it needed to be done...

2nd April 2016, 8.44pm

I love how nothing I ever do is good enough. There's always something wrong with what I do... it's just great...

1st April 2016, 8.30am

My life just loves getting complicated... this is just great... awesome... so yeah... it's too early for this shit to be happening...