Today was the last day of the marching band season. We handed in music and uniforms. It's always been a fairly bittersweet moment for me just because I love marching band and the people, but pep band season starts on Wednesday! I don't think there will ever come a day that I don't enjoy playing music with these two groups of people.
I think I fucked everything up between Peter and I today. I've had this pit in my stomach all yesterday and today. When he told me that he had told his mother about me, I think everything suddenly became all to real. Don't get me wrong, I like him... A lot... I just don't think I'm truly ready for another relationship yet and it wouldn't be fair to him because I would keep comparing him to Zach... I hope he'll still let me come see him on 25th November... Maybe once we are in person, it will be different... Maybe everything will fall into place... I don't know.
So this weekend, there were terrorist attacks in Paris. After trying to get ahold of everyone out there that I know, I heard back from them all the next morning saying that they were safe. The death toll is currently at 150 people. It makes me sick that people can just go out and kill other people in the name of religion. Almost all religions have a message of peace... How can killing another human being be sanctioned by a religion?
I've been crying a lot again. I started crying during Gay and Lesbian Drama today. I almost had to walk out because I wasn't sure that I could get it under control...
There is nothing wrong with crying over horrific events. It just means that you have feelings that need to be expressed. You obviously are a very caring person.
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