30th May 2016, 2.55pm

Today marks 30 weeks without cutting. Last night u was surprised by one of the exchange students I met 6 years ago. He's in the stated again for about 3 months. We caught up and talked a lot. It made me smile so damn much.

27th a may 2016, 9.52pm

I was super depressed this morning. I almost slit my wrists, to be completely honest. Ben talked me out of it, though. Then it started downpouring. It was wonderful and and made me giggle.

10.16am

There are still days where I wonder what I did to make David hit me. What had made him decide that I deserved to be hit? Did I actually deserve to be hit...? And I know how crazy it sounds... I sometimes wonder if I made any of it up. I didn't really talk to anyone about it when it was happening... maybe I did make it all up... I don't know...

26th May 2016, 12.28am

Yesterday was pretty good. I've been watching a lot of House M.D. lately. It's a really good show (in my opinion). I signed up for another 5k in August. I'm really excited, actually. I really missed running.

I'm having a bonfire on Saturday. It's going to be nice seeing everyone again. Ben might even be coming up for it. He's not sure yet and I'm assuming it's not going to happen, but it'd be nice to see him...

21st May 2016, 3.18pm

I ran a 5k today with my friend. We finished in 29 minutes. I'm really proud of us and I want to run another one!!!

18th May 2016, 9.21am

I'm actually starting to feel lost without a significant other. I've never been this long without someone to call my own. It's so weird. I like being single but at the same time it's pretty lonely. Friday will mark 200 days without cutting. I can't believe I've actually made it this long. I'm really proud of myself actually.

14th May 2016, 7.16pm

I cried yesterday. A lot. More Than I would like to admit. Most of it was stress mixed with feeling inadequate because of not having a boyfriend.

8th May 2016, 5.27pm

Yooooooo I'm 20 now. And it's Mother's Day. Cool.

7th May 2016, 11.10pm

I met Ben's alpha twin last night. She pretty much hated me immediately and made me feel extremely uncomfortable... otherwisr, I had a wonderful time at Dr. Schuler's retirement party.

6th May 2016, 11.38am

Today is the last day of classes for the semester. I have 5 finals next week. Two on monday, one on Tuesday l, and two on Wednesday. I leave for home Wednesday night. I've been crying a lot. The theatre has 20 seniors graduating between today and tomorrow.

3rd May 2016, 8.22pm

Today marks 6 months... and I want to throw it all away... I was actually having a really good day, too... I was productive, classes went well, I even got to see the musical I worked on finally... and then it all came crashing down... it always does... and once again I learn that I'm the annoying friend that people just put up with.... I need a cigarette...

2nd May 2016, 11.21pm

It's finally starting to really hit me that Ben is graduating on Saturday... I've know it was coming all year long but... I didn't think it would come up so fast... he was the first actual friend I made at college and he's been there for me through a lot. He always knows how to put a smile on my face and cheer me up even on my darkest days. We hang out almost every day and I just don't know what I'm going to do next year without him....