3.15pm

Dear Zach,

Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for pushing me down to rock bottom.  Because of you, I am stronger now. Because of you, I know what I want and deserve in a relationship of any sort. Because of you, I know it's okay to say goodbye if it's better for your mental health. Because of you, I have become happier than I have been in years.

I know now that a lot of it had to do with me, but at the same time a lot of it was you. We weren't compatible. We didn't even have that much in common. I wasn't the best girlfriend. In fact, I was far from it. I was stubborn and pissy and never knew when to just shut the hell up.  You weren't the best boyfriend ever, either. You were cruel and always had to be right and treated me like a child. Now, I'm not saying you were completely awful. You were sweet and thoughtful and kind. There were times when you made me feel like I was incredibly special and loved. I'm always going to hold onto those fond memories of us.

I forgive you. I forgive you for all the times you put me down. I forgive you for all the times you put my schooling down. I forgive you for all the times you put my passions down. I forgive you for making me sob during classes. I forgive you for causing me immense amounts of mental pain. I forgive you for all of the emotional pain that you put me through. I forgive you for making me hate myself. I forgive you. You are only human.

Now, I ask that you forgive me. Forgive me for all of the times I ended up starting fights. Forgive me for all of the times that I caused you mental pain. Forgive me for all of the emotional pain I caused you. Forgive me for being so stubborn. Forgive me for making you worry all the time. Forgive me for being human. I'm not going to beg nor plead for your forgiveness. I just ask that you consider it for I am only human and make mistakes. Unfortunately, many of my mistakes ended up hurting you.

I wish no ill upon you. I have no bad feelings towards you. What happened, happened. Honestly, I applaud you for being able to leave in order to retain your own mental health. I hope you find happiness. I hope you find peace. Whatever those two things may be, I hope you find them. I know that I'm getting closer to those two things every day that I continue to work on myself.

Our good times will always be in my memories and in my heart. I'm still trying to let the bad times go, but I'm getting closer each day. Some things just aren't meant to be.