3rd November 2016, 12.24am

It's officially been an entire year since the last time I cut myself. I'll be honest, I didn't actually think I'd make it a year but here we are.... here we are... I'm extremely proud of myself, don't get me wrong I just.... I can't believe all of the things happening. I'm stage managing my first show, I'm going to Las Vegas in May, January 2018 I'm going to London, May 2018 I'm graduating college.... I feel as though my life has taken a complete 180 and god does it feel good.

Besides all of that, Nick and I have been together almost 4 months now. I finally got to meet his sister and mum about 2 weeks ago now. I won't get to meet his dad until winter break probably. They love me, thougj. They absolutely love me and I love them. I've never actually had a boyfriend's family genuinely like me. Both his parents and my mother think that Nick and I are perfect for each other. My dad loves Nick, which is highly unusual.

8th October 2016, 8.51pm

Tomorrow marks 3 months with Nick. I've never been this happy before. Even my lows are higher than some of my highs ever were. I'm so lucky to have him in my life.
On that note, I'm not happy right now. I'm down right depressed. I know it will pass, it always does but I can't shake this feeling that I don't deserve anything I have.
The show opens on Wednesday. I can't believe it. Today is the first day of tech. It's almost done, though.

4th October 2016, 7.50pm

Yesterday marked 11 months without self harm. I can't believe I'm so close to a year now. I'm so lucky to have people like Ben and Nick by my side through all of this. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be a year self-harm free next month.
In just 5 days, Nick and I will have been together for 3 months. It's crazy how fast the time has gone by. I'm so lucky to have him in my life... I really don't deserve him.
Today, I started over on my workout schedule. My back is finally good enough to be doing it again... Nick and I decided to start over on day 1, but he doesn't know that I'm planning on doing whatever day we are on plus the next day. I'm ready to be sore every day to get the results I want.... He's always trying to convince me that I am pretty and sexy, but I just don't see it...

19th September 2016, 7.34am

So, it's been a year since Zach left me. Without him, I've gotten my lip pierced, gotten super close to getting on the Dean's list, gone almost a year without cutting, and found someone who truly loves me for me. I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days but I'm stronger now and know I have people who've got my back.

19th September 2016, 7.34am

So, it's been a year since Zach left me. Without him, I've gotten my lip pierced, gotten super close to getting on the Dean's list, gone almost a year without cutting, and found someone who truly loves me for me. I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days but I'm stronger now and know I have people who've got my back.

15th September 2016, 9.34pm

Monday marked 45 weeks since I cut. I'm doing okay I guess. I had to go to urgent care on Tuesday evening. My back has gotten much worse. I'm currently on steroids, pain killers, and muscle relaxers...

6th September 2016, 7.19pm

I started my 3rd year of college today. I thought it was going to be great and fun.... I was wrong... I forget that I don't really have friends here... no one wants to hang out with me... so I'm just going to sit in my room and work out or read or do homework.... who needs friends anyways...? At least I'm not depressed... maybe I'll go for a walk later... I'm so busy already....