4th October 2016, 7.50pm

Yesterday marked 11 months without self harm. I can't believe I'm so close to a year now. I'm so lucky to have people like Ben and Nick by my side through all of this. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be a year self-harm free next month.
In just 5 days, Nick and I will have been together for 3 months. It's crazy how fast the time has gone by. I'm so lucky to have him in my life... I really don't deserve him.
Today, I started over on my workout schedule. My back is finally good enough to be doing it again... Nick and I decided to start over on day 1, but he doesn't know that I'm planning on doing whatever day we are on plus the next day. I'm ready to be sore every day to get the results I want.... He's always trying to convince me that I am pretty and sexy, but I just don't see it...

19th September 2016, 7.34am

So, it's been a year since Zach left me. Without him, I've gotten my lip pierced, gotten super close to getting on the Dean's list, gone almost a year without cutting, and found someone who truly loves me for me. I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days but I'm stronger now and know I have people who've got my back.

19th September 2016, 7.34am

So, it's been a year since Zach left me. Without him, I've gotten my lip pierced, gotten super close to getting on the Dean's list, gone almost a year without cutting, and found someone who truly loves me for me. I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I still have my days but I'm stronger now and know I have people who've got my back.

15th September 2016, 9.34pm

Monday marked 45 weeks since I cut. I'm doing okay I guess. I had to go to urgent care on Tuesday evening. My back has gotten much worse. I'm currently on steroids, pain killers, and muscle relaxers...

6th September 2016, 7.19pm

I started my 3rd year of college today. I thought it was going to be great and fun.... I was wrong... I forget that I don't really have friends here... no one wants to hang out with me... so I'm just going to sit in my room and work out or read or do homework.... who needs friends anyways...? At least I'm not depressed... maybe I'll go for a walk later... I'm so busy already....

9th August 2016, 4.06pm

I was fired today. I loved my job and I have no idea what to do with myself these last few days before I head back to school. My work was one of the few things keeping me from my depression.... all I've done today is cry and go for a walk with Nick... he's at work now...

On the bright side, Nick and I have been together a month now. It feels like... I don't know exactly... he makes me happy... Ben says that this is the happiest he's ever seen me these past 2 years.

6th July 2016, 9.04pm

I've been doing really well since starting my job as a camp counselor. There's only been 1 day this past month where I wasn't okay but I was still able to handle it really well. It's been 8 months since I last cut. Nick and I are becoming pretty serious. He spent the night last night. It was perfect.