22nd November 2014, 12.52pm

There's a lot running through my mind lately. I don't think I want to try and get it all down just yet. I want to see how some things turn out.

It's been over a month since I heard from my one friend that tried to kill himself. I just don't know what to do or how to try and get a hold of him. I miss talking to him... It used to annoy me when we talked, but now I just miss it. I miss seeing his name pop up on my phone...

17th November 2014, 9.21pm

It's snowing again tonight. I hate winter. I hate snow.... I've been really depressed for about 3 weeks now... I want to just end it all... I want to just take a shit ton of pills and end my life once and for all... I'm useless and worthless and incomplete and a lost cause...

10th November 2014, 8.12am

So today is Zach and my three month. We celebrated over the weekend and it was the happiest I've been in a while. School seems to be draining me again and my job is just... Aggravating to say the least. Thanksgiving this year may be my first holiday away from home because of my job...

5th November 2014, 8.37am

Yesterday, I had another friend end up in the hospital... This time it was my fault... I'm the one he pushed him over the edge... We had been fighting and he said he was depressed but I just kept going at him with everything I had... I should have stopped... I should have held him... I feel so guilty... They let him go home after his 24 hour pysch hold finished, but he's back again today to make sure there isn't too much damage... I could have prevented all of this but I didn't....