25th September 2014, 10.58am

I've been sick for the past 4-5 days... At this point, I've completely lost my voice. I ended up skipping my two morning classes so I could get some more sleep to try and get better sooner....

On the bright side, I get to see Zach again tomorrow. I just hope I can talk by then!

Otherwise, nothing is new really. I don't really even know what to talk about. I just want to go back to sleep... I have work 12pm-3pm and then my chemistry lab from 3pm-6pm and finally my first chemistry exam at 7pm. I don't have my Introduction to Theatre class tomorrow, so I can sleep in a lot more which is fantastic.

19th September 2014, 9.35am

I just cried most of the night... The only thing I have to look forward to right now is seeing Zach in about 11 hours...

10.21pm

I hate when I open up to people... Why do I do this to myself...? I hate when people try to help... I always just end up worse... Please just stop.... let me figure shit out....

8.25pm

I just don't see a point in trying anymore... I just want to die already... I don't want to be here... It's so fucking hard not to cry in front of my roommate while my entire world is crashing down... I can't do this anymore....

18th September 2014, 9.34am

You people should snapchat me... I'm so bored and will answer I promise ;-;
My snapchat is just conromeg
Seriously... You should do it and keep my company :D

8.32pm

The longer I'm up, the more depressed I get... My wrist is red and swollen from snapping a rubber band against it all day to curb urges... I don't know how much longer I can do this bullshit... I'm so lonely and so out of place here... Why should I bother if no one will notice that I'm gone??

10.24am

I've been surfing Tumblr and I found this really great thing.

"Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is okay. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having."

Isn't it just absolutely perfect?

17th September 2014, 9.15am

I don't have class until noon today, but after that it's just classes non stop... I get to see Zach in just two days. I can't wait to be in his arms... Maybe it'll make the demons quiet down for just a bit...

15th September 2014, 9.06pm

College is begin to takes its toll on me and my relationship with my boyfriend. We got in a huge fight yesterday and actually broke up for a bit, but I'm not counting it as an actual break up... I just need to seem him... Just four more days...

In other news, I only have 17 days until I go to Green Bay, WI to play for the halftime show of the Packer vs. Vikings game. It's exciting but scary as all hell.

14th September 2014, 3.57pm

All I ever do is upset my boyfriend... I don't do anything right anymore... I should just leave him so he can be happy again... I don't want to leave him... I love him so much, but I don't want to see him in the mental hospital again... That hurt so much last time... I can't do this but I can't hurt him anymore....

11th September 2014, 6.02pm

I've been getting more and more depressed lately. I don't really know how to fix it anymore either... Nothing I do works. At the moment, I have a rubber band around my wrist in case I start trying to find something sharp... I just don't know how to be happy anymore... I don't think it's homesickness, though. No, it's much more serious than just that... I've been wanting to hurt myself a lot recently... I haven't been eating right or at all... I just want to stay in bed for a few years or so...

5th September 2014, 8.10pm

My depression is getting worse again. All I want to do is hide away in my room and cut... I feel so lost here. I feel like no one wants to talk to me just because I'm new... I hate it... It doesn't help that I have social anxiety....

2nd September 2014, 1.31pm

I'm just super bored today. I had one class at 8am and that finished up by 9.15am. I went to lunch with two of my friends. Now I'm just waiting for the anime club meeting to start at 6pm....

1st September 2014, 1.29pm

Today's been a pretty good day. Classes start tomorrow. I only have my math class at 8am tomorrow then I have my Anime and Manga club meeting around 6pm. It should be plenty of fun. I just miss my boyfriend Zach. I got really depressed the other night and actually ended up getting pretty drunk at a party. I can't wait until I can see him again. I miss him so much....